


We Were Soulmates in Every Way

by Dragon-Who-Writes (messed_up_reader)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Canon Divergence - Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Eventual Happy Ending, Fix-It, M/M, No Smut, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Quote: I'm with you 'til the end of the line, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Sam Wilson is a Gift, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson Friendship, Steve Rogers Feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2018-12-30 09:39:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12105906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/messed_up_reader/pseuds/Dragon-Who-Writes
Summary: Steve and Bucky deserve a happy ending. Bucky deserves his plums. Sam Wilson deserves credit for being an amazing friend and great dude. This is the fic where all of that happens.





	1. Chapter 1

**James "Bucky" Barnes**

**Bucharest, Romania**

**May 2016**

 

His last good memory, absolutely good memory, was the fair. He told Steve it was a double date. And it was. He just was hoping that at the end of the night, it would be him and Steve. The girl he was with that night was actually trying to tell her best friend that she loved her. If Bucky remembered right, they actually got their happy ending. He was still waiting on his. 

See, but even his last really good memory was significantly tainted. He saw Howard for the first time that night. Steve actually enlisted that night. Not that Bucky knew that Steve was accepted until he was lying on that goddamn table in the fucking Hydra base. But ultimately their goodbye that night was a happy memory. He hadn’t told Steve he loved him, but they hugged after their fight. It was a fight they had a thousand times before. Bucky could never seem to convince Steve that this war wasn’t a good thing and that he didn’t have to prove anything. He didn’t want Steve to get hurt. Honestly he was afraid of losing Steve, maybe physically or maybe mentally. And he knew Steve wouldn’t change. His view of right and wrong wasn’t going to change. Bucky knew that. He left that night, hoping to make it back to Brooklyn. If he made it through the war, he and Steve could live out their lives together. Hopefully as a couple. 

He still hadn’t been back to Brooklyn. But at least he was regaining control, however slow. His memory was muddled. But he remembered the night of the fair and the day they buried Steve’s mother, and the sleepovers they would have as kids. He remembered watching as Steve sat on the fire escape and drew. He remembered every time he had to kick some kids ass because Steve was stupid enough to pick a fight. He remembered every time Steve got so sick that Bucky and Sarah held onto each other for dear life because they were afraid their entire world was going to disappear. He remembered that good night during the war when they were at the bar. The night he feared Steve was into Peggy instead of him. The night he realized Steve was into Peggy AND him. 

It seemed a bit silly to him now that while they were fighting for their lives and other people’s lives, he was still so caught up on making his love known. But if people lose their ability to love during a war, then everything is lost. 

He was grateful for how much he loved Steve though. It is what got him through his first time being captured by Hydra. It is what kept him going and brought him out of Hydra’s grasp ever since he fell. 

Bucky flipped to another page in his notebook. He wrote down more things he remembered. He hoped that by writing it down he could sort through this life he lived. But his brain had been through a blender so many times it was difficult. Obviously everything about the man he loves was still crystal clear. There are just some things too strong to destroy completely. 

The sun was beginning to break through the windows. He had made it through another night. The nights had been the hardest to get used to. They were so quiet. It was a nice break, but it was also mildly unsettling. He also hated dreaming. Where his unconscious took him was never pleasant. Bucky looked at the clock on the stove. In an hour he could head to the market. He was really enjoying fresh fruit. Plums he was discovering, or maybe rediscovering, were his favorite. Everything he had after he fell was really basic and dry and bland. The food was just another way of breaking him - of controlling him. Enjoying food was a small way, an easy way, of feeling in control. That is why he really looked forward to going to the market. It was nerve wracking to be outside, but the food made it worth it. 

 

**Steve Rogers**

**Upstate New York, USA**

**May 2016**

 

Steve was making a cup of tea. He needed something to calm his nerves. He was having a hard time sleeping. He really hadn’t had a good night’s sleep since 1940. There was that span of time he was frozen, so it wasn’t all bad. But ever since the Triskelion and Bucky, he really couldn’t sleep well. The guilt was amplified. The neverending what-ifs wouldn’t leave Steve alone long enough for him to fall asleep. And after the recent Rumlow disaster, he was thinking about Bucky more than usual. 

Steve had just sat down on his bed, still too soft even after all this time, when his phone rang. His heart skipped a beat when he saw it was Sam calling. A little part of him was still so hopeful that Sam might have found him. He was losing hope, but he couldn’t let go. 

“Hey Sam. What’s so urgent?” Steve asked. 

“I found him.”

Steve’s heart stopped. He almost dropped the phone. He did drop the cup of tea. 

“Ho . . . How? Where? You aren’t messing with me are you?”

“I had narrowed it down to places he might feel safe, and I remember you telling me that his family had come from Romania. I figured he might go back. So I called in some favors that might have included some not so legal surveillance, and I found him. He is in Bucharest, Romania. I even have an address.” 

“You . . . I just . . . Sam, thank you. You are amazing. Seriously. I don’t even know how I can repay you for this.” 

Steve couldn’t believe he finally knew where Bucky was. After all these years, he might actually get Bucky back. He might get a good night's sleep. Maybe everything has been worth it. 

“So,” Sam said, “When do we leave?”

Steve was pulled back to reality, “Now. We should go now. I will meet you in fifteen at the hanger.” 

He hung up the phone. It was late, but Steve wasn’t tired any more. He didn’t want sleep. He just wanted Bucky.

* * *

 

“You sure you don’t want me to come?” asked Tony when Steve told him he was taking the jet.

“Yeah. Sam and I have got this. It isn’t an op anyways. I’m not even bringing my suit. I’m bringing the shield, but that’s just because I feel kind of naked without it.” Steve couldn’t bring himself to tell Tony what he was doing exactly. He was afraid that once he said where he was going, Bucky would disappear again or Sam would say it was just a joke.

“Okay. Just bring the jet back in one piece please.”

“Thanks Tony. We should be back tomorrow. A couple of days tops.” 

Tony nodded, and then he went back to tinkering with whatever crazy invention he had come up with this time.

* * *

 

Steve climbed into the pilot’s seat. Sam clapped him on the back from the co-pilot’s seat. 

“Are you sure you’re ready to do this? Because we can wait a while. He doesn’t seem to be going anywhere,” Sam said in a very calm and gentle tone. 

Steve took a shaky breath, “Yeah. I need to do this.”

“Okay then. Now are you sure you know how to fly this thing, because your track record on landing planes isn’t amazing.”

Steve chuckled along with Sam, “You know what buddy, I can actually land a plane.” 

Steve was grateful for Sam. He was an amazing friend. He always knew when to crack a joke. And he never questioned Steve for wanting to find Bucky. Sam had every reason to not want to meet Buck again. But he spent so much time looking for the man who almost killed him for Steve. For his friend. 

The flight passed slowly and quickly all at the same time. For the most part they flew in silence, but Sam asked Steve questions every once in awhile. 

“You loved him, didn’t you?” Sam asked quietly, when they were about 30 minutes out.

“Yes,” Steve barely whispered, afraid he would wake the ghosts by speaking too loudly. “We were soulmates in every way. Not just romantically but platonically and spiritually. Our destinies are so intertwined, we are so close to each other in everything, I mean I loved Peggy, but what I had with Bucky was different. Not more, necessarily, but different.” 

Steve had never said any of that out loud. Before he couldn’t, not without great risk to himself, and when he was first unfrozen, it didn’t seem to matter. Bucky was dead, he didn’t see the need to talk about the heartbreak of losing his soulmate to people who never knew him. And when he learned Bucky was alive again, it hurt too much to even think about. 

This was the first time Steve was admitting to loving Bucky outloud and Bucky wasn’t even there. He began to cry.

“Shit man, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I just. All this time I was searching for him, I couldn’t help but wondering. You only fight so hard for a friend. And you told me that you pretty much refused to fight the guy at the end of the Triskelion attack. You fight everyone dude. You are as famous for never backing down from a fight. Pretty sure your catchphrase is ‘I can do this all day’. There was something weird about it.” 

Steve wiped his eyes, “Yeah. Fighting him was like trying to punch a puppy in the face. It would have killed me too much. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself.” 

“You almost didn’t live.”

“Yeah, but he saved me in the end. He remembered. Just enough to save me.”

“You got lucky.”

“I’m a very lucky guy.”

“You really are dude.”

And they spent the rest of the trip in contented silence. Steve felt much lighter than before. He was glad Sam knew why Bucky meant so much to him. Sam seemed to understand. And he never pried too much. 


	2. Chapter 2

**James “Bucky” Barnes**

**Bucharest, Romania**

**May 2016**

 

The weather was cool, which was good when you needed to hide a metal arm that was widely recognized as ‘evil’. It makes you sweat less, and its easier to blend in. There was a slight breeze in the market; it set Bucky on edge. 

He approached the stand after fully taking in his surroundings, all possible threats, all exits, all usable weapons. But he knew that if he was found out, he wouldn’t stay to see if he could fight. His only option was to run. He knew he couldn’t stop running. 

“How much are the plums?” He asked the small woman with brown hair and striking brown eyes. 

“1 Leu each, sir.” 

Bucky allowed himself a smile. Just a slight one. He hadn’t been called ‘sir’ in a while.

“I’ll take three,” he said, handing her the money plus a little extra.

He put the plums in the pockets of his coat, and turned to cross the street. As he stood waiting, a police siren sounded. Bucky nearly jumped out of his skin. His fingers twitched and his breath hitched. He let it out when the siren faded. His nerves had been more on edge lately. He had been here too long. It was making him nervous. 

That’s when he saw it. Or thought he saw him. There was a flash of distinctive blonde hair out of the corner of his eye. It couldn’t be though. Bucky had nearly killed him the last time they met, and he was doing a pretty good job of hiding. 

He started to make his way back to his apartment. He needed to move. 

 

**Steve Rogers**

**Bucharest, Romania**

**May 2016**

Bucky was at a market when they landed in Romania. Steve wasn’t sure if surprising Bucky by sneaking into his apartment and waiting for him was a really bad idea or not, but it felt right at the time. 

“Just let me know when he is coming up. Okay Sam?” Steve said into his earpiece to Sam who was on the roof, having Steve’s back as per usual.

“Don’t worry Steve. The worst thing that can happen is he won’t remember you and then he will try to kill you. Which has already happened, so nothin’ too different.”

Steve chuckled a bit. Sam was right. Steve and Bucky had already had the worst reunion they could have. It only goes up. Steve hoped. 

Steve took the moment he had alone in Bucky’s sanctuary to look around. He tried to figure out how much of his best friend was truly left. 

There was a cheap mattress in the corner. Not much else. Some food. Some fresh fruit. And a notebook underneath some chocolate. Steve opened the notebook. Yeah this felt a bit like reading Bucky’s thoughts, but Steve couldn’t help it. He had to know. 

The notebook was in Bucky’s scribble, and most of the notebook was about him. Memories from before and some things about his childhood. There were also some dark bits about his time under Hydra’s control. A couple of missions. There were less details than the memories of before. Either he had a harder time remembering those, or they were just too awful to fully recount. There was even a picture of Steve tucked into the pages. The flyer from the Smithsonian exhibit. 

“Oh Bucky,” Steve whispered. 

He heard the floor creak behind him. 

 

**James “Bucky” Barnes**

**Bucharest, Romania**

**May 2016**

 

_ What was he doing here?  _ Bucky tried to will his mouth to form the words, but he couldn’t. He didn’t know if he wanted to know the answer. He thought about just leaving, but the old floors had a different plan. 

Steve turned around. The look on his face went from surprise, temporary fear, joy, hope, and back to the sadness it was shaped into when Bucky first saw him. They hadn’t really spoken since the 40’s and Steve still cared and in the exact same way Bucky remembered. Always a spark of hope and sadness.  

It was the hope that was briefly in Steve’s eyes that allowed Bucky to speak, “What are you doing here?” 

The words were barely above a whisper, but in the dead silent apartment, it sounded like he had shouted. Steve stared at Bucky for an agonizingly long time before he replied, “I’m honestly not sure.”

That hurt for some reason. Maybe it was the way the words were spoken, like a man who regrets a decision. 

“Bucky,” Steve said, his name barely more than a breath, “do you know who I am?”

It was a good question. The honest answer was that Bucky knew who Steve was more than he knew who Bucky was. He lost himself, probably permanently, but Steve always came back. 

“You’re Steve. You’re Captain America. You saved the World. I read about you in that museum.”

Steve rolled his eyes, “You’re lying.”

_ Damn.  _ Bucky didn’t tell Steve the truth because he knew it was safer for him if he left. Both of them. 

“You fought in World War II. So did I.” 

“Stop messing with me. This journal says you remember a lot more than that.”

Bucky looked to Steve’s hand.  _ Shit.  _

“You shouldn’t take things that aren’t yours. Someone might accuse you of stealing.”

 

**Steve Rogers**

**Bucharest, Romania**

**May 2016**

 

He was still a stubborn asshole. After everything, that hadn’t changed, and as annoying as the trait was, it was reassuring it was still there. He knew Bucky was lying. He figured Bucky was probably trying to protect him. 

“I probably shouldn’t have looked, but I was curious,” He paused, “Why did you pull me from the river?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes you do.”  _ Just say it please. Just a little bit. Confirm you’re still you. You don’t even have to say you love me.  _

Bucky sighed, “You saved me.”

“Not really. I just didn’t kill you.”

“No, you saved me. And it wasn’t the first time.”

“Well. One time I didn’t save you. I couldn’t let that happen again.”

“I tried to kill you.”

“We all have our flaws. Our moments of weakness. Our decades of being brainwashed and used as a weapon by Nazis.”

Bucky flinched. Steve shouldn’t have mentioned it. Not yet at least. They should build up to the big conversations. 

“I really don’t know why I saved you. When you said you were with me ‘til the end of the line, it broke the programming a little bit. I didn’t know who you were exactly yet, but I knew I shouldn’t let you die.”

Steve nodded. 

 

**James “Bucky” Barnes**

**Bucharest, Romania**

**May 2016**

He told Steve the truth. He still wasn’t even close to back when he pulled Steve from the river. It was a gut feeling sort of thing, not a conscious decision based off everything they had together. 

Bucky looked at Steve. The man standing in front of him. He didn’t look much like the kid he knew when they were growing up. He was taller and broader and his eyes had seen even more horrors and tragedies than he did growing up. He looked tired. Bucky had put Steve through so much. And he was tired. He had been fighting since he fell, before he fell, and he just wanted peace. He would never get that if he stepped into the light with Steve. And Steve wouldn’t get the rest he deserves either. The world wanted Bucky dead. The world needed Steve to protect it. The two men couldn’t exist together. Bucky knew that if he didn’t put an end to them, him and Steve, that he would be responsible for even more pain in Steve’s eyes. 

“As much fun as this reunion has been, you should go Steve. I can get by on my own.”

 

**Steve Rogers**

**Bucharest, Romania**

**May 2016**

 

Steve’s lips twitched, remembering a conversation from another lifetime, “The thing is, you don’t have to.”

“They want my head on a pike. And I can’t blame them. I’ve done a lot of very bad things.” 

“None of which were your fault. You didn’t have a choice.”

“But I did them. The blood is on my hands, and it is a lot of blood.”

Steve could tell Bucky was trying to save them from pain. “You’re trying to save me. You’re trying to prevent me from having to choose between the Avengers and the World and you.”

“I didn’t think I was that transparent.”

“I’ve known you a long time.”

“I killed Howard, Steve.”

What surprised Steve wasn’t the statement, he knew the winter soldier was credited with that kill, but he was surprised Bucky told him. 

“They made me kill a friend. How are you okay with that?”

“Again, it wasn’t your choice Buck.” Steve took a step towards Bucky and reached for him. Bucky flinched.

“I can’t go with you. I can’t go back. I’m trying to show you why. I’m better off alone Steve. Everything I touch dies. I’m not worth you risking all of this.”

Every word broke Steve’s heart a little bit more. His best friend was breaking and fading. And this time Steve didn’t know how to save him. But he was Steven fucking Rogers, a very stubborn man.

“Nope.”

Bucky’s head snapped up from where it was permanently staring at the floor, shocked. 

“I’m not gonna leave you again,” Steve said. “I can’t do that. I don’t think you fully get it. I picked up the shield to save you when your unit was captured. Sure we could say I did it for the greater good, but it was for you. I brought down corrupt organization after organization to save and protect you. You are the one person that really keeps me going through all this. I’d give up everything for you.”

Bucky was looking at the floor again. He was so afraid. It wasn’t fair. All of this had taken the kid Steve knew from Brooklyn and crushed him. Steve reached out again and put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. 

The next thing he knew, the brunette was hanging off of him in a hug. 

“Steve,” Bucky whispered, “I missed you. I miss you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rolls in 3 months late with starbucks* sorry I took forever to write this, but school destroys everything, especially free time.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah. There is a lot of non canon character details I decided to throw in. It is my universe and the people officially in charge of these characters cannot be trusted, so I am taking over. I don't know how long this fic will be. I have plans but who knows. I will try and update every other week. I'd say once a week, but I don't want to be unrealistic.


End file.
